In fact, you could be forgiven for saying there aren't any. The differences between the two campaigns are subtle. It's a third-person shooter split between two campaigns, meaning you spend five missions wrecking shit as the Decepticons and five missions fixing it all again as the Autobots. Even if he were complementing his mother on her potato bake, he'd still threaten her with disintegration if the apple crumble's not up to standard. Megatron in particular can't string two words together without sounding like a panto villain. The Autobots think everyone should be nice, and the Decepticons think everyone should be dick-pistons, a doctrine to which the Decepticons seem almost religiously-devoted. Bearing in mind my ignorance of Transformers canon, the reason for this war as far as I could tell was a largely-ideological one. Seven billion light-years from the nearest relatable character, there's a big robot planet that looks like a Magic 8-Ball had sex with a diesel engine where war has broken out between the Autobots and the Decepticons, colour-coded "Proud Red" and " Faaaabulous Purple", respectively. Gather 'round and consume away, you big jeans-wearing mouth-cattle-things.
But I suppose these days, the entire entertainment industry regards most individuals as nothing more than a big, consuming mouth wearing designer jeans full of money, so what the fuck. Hey, fanboys! Transformers only loved you as long as you had limited control of your parents' disposable income! It's like you were all hooked up to milking machines, and instead of complaining, you all painted your milking machines different colours and put stickers on them, and argued over whose milking machine was best. What I don't get is why people get so affectionate and defensive of Transformers when literally the only reason it existed was not to enrich or inspire you, but to sell you gimmicky toys. I say this to give the following review context, because I know there are going to be some nostalgia-blinded viewers who slept each night safe in the arms of their Optimus Prime duvet right up to the age of 28 who will take offense when I say I feel somewhat uninvested in the argument of whether my stereo could beat up my microwave. I never watched Transformers as a kid I exclusively watched black-and-white Eastern European cartoons where everything was an analogy for capitalism.
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